When 1 day u really read this blog~

pls remember the pinky promise~

This blog started at the day I never forget(10/07/12)

u can check all the posts by clicking "older posts"

but if u feel any uncomfortable, pls stop reading :)

08/09/2012 09.00 am

After 25 days 8 hours and 16 minute,

03/10/2012 05.16 pm

My tears drop again.... :(

But this time is because 

I MISS U

Maybe I cant see u for 1 month, 

I MISS U but maybe u are not...

ITS OK....

When U moody, I will keep make u smile, "tam fan" u...

BUT when I'm moody, U will try to make me smile , "tam fan" me...

DO u know the different between "KEEP" AND "TRY" ???

I want to make u smile, no matter u smile or not, I'll will keep doing it...

U will "TRY" to make me smile, if I can't smile, u will give up and let me chill...

Because u "TRIED".....ITS OK....NVM...U HAPPY CAN D.... :)

Sometime I also feel "gan dong" when u are trying to "tam fan" me, i know it maybe just a friend's care, 

So everytime I'm telling myself don't think too over, too much...

Honestly, I'm not a really caring guy, all the boys would do the same things on the girl their loving...

I'm just a liar, an actor~ Telling u "I'm ok", acting "Happy"

U must thinking why I keep being so fake all the time,

Because I don't want making u so awkward....

I shared all the status on FB and twitter,

I know u saw and u read,

But I also know u trying to ignore and feel so awkward...

So this is why I write this blog and don't want to let u know... :)

But I'm being a honest guy a month ago...

U don't know me well, But u can sense my feelings... :")

Anyway, thx for teman me all the time when I'm alone,

chatted with me when I'm boring,

cheer me up when I'm moody~

I'll remember all these moment ! :')

U are the one can make me happy and cry,

Just a dream come true, I FOUND U <3

I miss u~

I'll check my phone to see whether got your msg~ 

Even I knew my phone never rings....

Maybe I'm not handsome,

But I can assure will love u wholeheartedly~

Maybe I'm not really caring,

But I can assure will accompany u when u down, sad, moody, unhappy, hurt, sick~

Maybe I'm not rich,

But I can assure will keep our promises~

Maybe I'm not the best for u,

But I can assure..........FOREVER..... <3

I LOVE U~ 

NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT U HAVE BUT BECAUSE OF WHAT I FEELS~

I CARE FOR U~

NOT BECAUSE YOU NEED CARE BUT I WANT TO~

I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR U~

NOT BECAUSE I WANT U TO BE WITH ME BUT BECAUSE I WANT TO BE WITH U~

SARANGHAE ~ I LOVE YOU ~ 我爱你

Morning just woke up then......haiz
My dear ~EYES~ ! can you pls control yourself~ T.T
Even sleeping also can feel the pain~
jog in the rain more than 1 hour and now going to sick...this is what I want?
Sorry If i say something making you uncomfortable in msg....
I had tried my best to avoid that everytime....but..... Jeongmal Mianhae~
For once in my life, I don't have to try to be HAPPY,
When I chat with you, it just HAPPENS....
Every moment chatted with you is like a beautiful dream come true.... <3
But I always try to wake myself up~  </3
Telling myself it just a DREAM!!
It just a friend's care...
EVERYTIME I'M TELLING MYSELF~

剩3个月+

在更新这个blog的同时，你在短信里也发觉我是不是不开心~

我也这么觉得！但还是会微笑着说 "I'm Ok" 

今天..........

突然翻阅我们发过的短信，说过的话~

越看越心痛~  眼睛不听话~

不是哭~

只是眼泪莫名其妙的流下了.......

有时真是觉得自己太差劲了~

但人非草木~ 再坚强也有脆弱的时候！

你一直在短信逗我开心~ 但此时此刻我真的笑不出！:-( Mianhae

SPM后，不管我是不是第一批NS~ 

我都会离开Selangor~ 离开这里一段时间~ 

但在我离开前~

我希望~

和你逛街~ 第一次 也是最后一次！

和你一起看电影~ 第一场 应该也是最后一场！
和你拍一张两个人的合照~ 第一张 或许是最后一张！

送你礼物~ 虽然已是第二份 但应该也是最后一份！

和你作最后一次告白~ 但这次我不想知道答案！ </3

YOU DON'T KNOW :(

DO YOU KNOW ? ? ?

Sometimes I took more than 5 min to reply you~

Not because I type so slow~

Just because I want to make sure all the words that I say~ 

Won't make You feel awkward ! ! !

DO YOU KNOW ? ? ?

Some of your WORDS~

Even just a word~ a sentence~

I know its just a joke~ 

But I'll suddenly feel sad~

And I'll be happy until received your next msg~

Maybe in Next Minute, Next Hour, Next Day ! ! !

DO YOU KNOW ? ? ?

I also wonder why I take all those jokes so serious~

Maybe You're the one that I really take serious ! ! !

I'll not disturb u when i miss u~ i wanted to talk with u~
Maybe u thought that i have given up!!!
But I Didn't~
I Love you once,
I Love you still,
I always have,
I always will....
You're always on my mind~ All day just all the time!

感觉渐渐没那么强烈了！
是因为伤口已经痛得麻痹了吗？
不晓得~ 也不敢去包扎这伤口~
不想想你~ 却又偏偏想起你！
很想收到你的短信~ 却又偏偏等不到！
不想虚假地带着笑脸面具~ 却偏偏不能苦着脸对你！
很想回到过去~ 却偏偏不懂得制造时光机！
好累啊~ 讨厌现在的我~ HATE MYSELF~
虚假的样子~
虚伪的笑容~
懦弱的逃避~
善意的谎言~
鬼祟的关心~
不想伤害你~
宁可伤自己~
我爱你~ 所以不忍心伤了你！

但如果~ 如果有一天我真的伤害了你~ 不做朋友！
请原谅我~ 仔细看着我的眼和心，或许它们正在流着泪和血！:)
</3

Mood ok abit d recently.....BECAUSE OF U.....
Sometime my heart pain when I miss u~
But its ok~
U MAKE ME SMILE~ MAKE ME HAPPY~
LOOKING AT YOUR TWITTER QUIETLY~ WAITING U SLEEP 1ST!

Just realize I didn't talk for whole day, even a sentence a word~ :/
Just went back home, there's the person that I hope had sms me~
she keep "pinky promise" me everything that she won't regret, won't tell anyone~
she said I will feel comfortable if i tell out the problem~
When i'm looking the msg, I shed the first tear and ignoring your msg~
Ya~ I know I will feel more comfortable if I tell out!!
But I know if I tell u the problem, maybe u will feel uncomfortable and awkward~
So, Sorry~ I can't tell u the truth!!! even I can't hold back the pain inside my heart!

I shed the first tear

Chong Jia Nian was "DEAD"

4 August 2012~ I'm still dreaming in the hell!!!
Trial is coming~ But feel like not doing anything...No Mood
hmmmm....STUPID~

2 August 2012~ Yesterday U sms me twice with the same text "I want ask U something, Can ah?"
But I'm not replying u...I feel so bad!!! hmmm... :-(
I dun wan u to knw I did that~ This is why I put inside your bag quietly, its not important who gave u that! Pls Dun Ask~
Since I saw your tweets~ knw about u feeling better d....
Mood~ 5%

1 August 2012~ Just received your msg : "I wan ask U something, can ah?"

But I knw what u gonna ask....sure its about "Strepsils" thing~

Soli~ I'm not replying your msg~ :-(

If this happened at 1 month ago, Maybe I'll admit that~

But now, its not important anymore whether I admit or not!!! 

I realize if I reply your msg, then I'll repeat the mistake agn....
I have been rejected but I'm still do many stupid things and not dare to admit that~ 

LOSER~ I AM 

Mood~ 4%

31 july 2012~ U sick d still sleep on 11pm++....Flu + Sore Throat still eat snowflake.....
Haizzzzz.....My words just BULLSHIT~
I know! right! I'm just a NOBODY~ I have No authority to stop you~ Because I'm Stupid
Today morning walked to Petronas bought "Strepsils" and put inside your bag quietly...hmmm

30 July 2012~ hmmmm....soli I ignored your question,
"Why I Moody? Do I Ok?"
I really want to tell u....
BUT I don't want make u feel awkward again....
From 10 July 2012 until now...I'm still in the BAD MOOD :(
Soli~
Mood~ 1%

27 July 2012~ Today still the same!!! But act like so happy when sms u, find ur fav korean star's pic to make u happy.... >.<
Pn.Heu wake me up and kaunseling me....=.=
keep asking me whats my problem...How I tell u??? -.-
Mood~ 2%

我不愿让你一个人
26 July 2012~ Today...........
Whole day.....didn't talk~ keep sleeping ....so damn MOODY...My worst day in class
Many ppl keep thinking I sick d..somemore thought I puasa.....But I'm not sick & puasa :) thx for care
I decided not sms any1 today~ Time to calm down~
But the 1st thing I did~ open twitter and look at your status~
awww~ U are moody + stomach pain severe...U kena NS d....u look so down~
At last, I decided to sms u~ I felt more MOODY when I heard U say your stomach freaking pain today, look severe~
Actually I'm not so happy when i knw I kena NS....I dun wan to go...gv me a chance
But I act like so happy to comfort you~ :(  I'm BIG LIAR~
Some ppl say the "NS NAME LIST" just testing only, not true de....
If really can gv a chance, I hope u didn't kena NS since u don't wan to go... >.<
I dun wan you to be MOODY!!!
MOOD~ 5%

24 july 2012~ after 2 weeks d and my heart still pain at this moment .... </3
Why I ask u the question?
Why I don't continue dreaming?
Why I wake myself up?
Because I'm Stupid!
I regret~ I hate myself~
Mood~ 5%

Pain Again T.T

23 july 2012~ My heart long time didn't pain d....but at thi night it pain again... ~>...<~
文章到现在都还没完成~ 每次写到一半，心也开始痛了！
而这种痛虽然早已习惯，但还是控制不了！
是不是只有闭上眼睛那一刻，痛才会停止？？？
Mood~ 25%

19 july 2012~ saw she tweet "good luck" in her twitter last night~
awhhh~ me terasa!!! if that was true, why she didn't text me leh? :/
hmmm...maybe she thought im sleeping.....arhhh.....nvm....... ><
Today Final(Single) I won.... p(^.^)q
she is the 1st person that i want to share with my happiness...... :)

Oh yeah~ My lucky sport shoe ^@^
Mood~ 90%

18 july 2012~ look like "miracle" didn't happen agn! :'(
hmmm....Good Night~ Jal Ja~
Mood~ 15%

18 july 2012~ Oh Sh*t! Today suddenly became so quiet...
NERVOUS? TIRED? UNHAPPY? EMO?
I Dun Know~
I just knw I'm waiting your message....
Hope that "miracle" happen agn.... :)
Mood~ 40%

17 July 2012~ 为了今天的兵乓比赛，昨晚差点紧张得睡不着觉！
那刻，看着我的手机~多么希望你会信息我！
心想~算吧！放下我的手机！
就在我闭上眼睛的那一刻，手机铃声突然响起了~
竟然是你的短信~ 是你的祝福短信~祝我好运
最终我也抵住压力，顺利闯进决赛~
星期四的决赛~多么希望“奇迹”会再一次出现！
你的一则短信给了我很大的推动力！
Thanks For Text Me Last Night~ :)
Mood~ 80%

14 July 2012~ U happy I happy~ U sad I sad~
But hope u never got a chance to sad~ :)
I think Today Is your happiest day ~MTV WORLD STAGE~
OMG~ Football training also thinking about u, Severely miss u :(
MOOD~ 50%

13 July 2012~ Today I became BAD BOY d....ponteng for 4 period + Keep Sleeping in class~
Even math teacher said want to call my father, but i feel like doesn't care about it...
WHY??? WHY....I BECOME LIKE THIS????
Because My heart hurt???
Because I'm Acting???
Because Be Good Boy no use~ Better Be A Bad Boy????
I can text u with the smiley face>>> :) ACT.....
But When I see u, my heart started to pain....Cant ACT anymore... TT.TT
Mood~ 15%

When you love someone, its SOMETHING~
When someone love you, its ANOTHER THING~
When you love the person who love you too, its EVERYTHING~

My Mood

12 JULY 2012~ Today, I'm so quiet!!! Even teacher also ask me why so sad for few days d....but I was smiling and answered "I'm Ok".... :)

Bro~NYGEL~ this guy keep asking "Chong~ Why u so sad??? Any problem? U can talk to me!!!" 
Thankssss....

Today I met u, just saying HI softly, but not smiling at each other like last time.... :(

I wanted to talk to u, but I dun knw why can't I open my mouth...I'm Sorry again....I hate myself!

Mood~ 10%

My Mood

10 July 2012~ This is the day that made me Freaking DOWN.... :'( I can't forget this day... 

MOOD~  0%

11 July 2012~ When I saw u, I turn back to avoid u.....I'm Sorry Joesonghamnida

MOOD~  0%